How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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