also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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