I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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