If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize