I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
