speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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