R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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