Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
