We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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