i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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