guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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