My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
