It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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