In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
