I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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