i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
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We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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