i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
