we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
