Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
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come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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