Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
