lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
