No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize