toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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