So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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