we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
