It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
