grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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