I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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