if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm both gender and math confused
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