we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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