I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Text me some of your sweat
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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