he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
