the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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