you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
