Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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