margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
this just has baby written all over it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
