He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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