Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
wow bdsm is so cute
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