You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
