Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
