marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
