apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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