It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Pooping to opera.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
