It's like God shit irony all over that family
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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