i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
