Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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