I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize