i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize