If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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