my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
