2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
