Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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