In the future we'll all be gay
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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