There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
