he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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