i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
