I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
