We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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