I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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