either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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