I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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